New Beginnings...

This is the time of my life when I need the one closest to me (at least in proximity) to give me the support he can give now that I am on the family way.  This may be a scary time of my life where I have to be very careful of what I should eat or drink or put on my skin.

I just need someone to make me comfortable and not taken for granted.  This is the time I seek for love and hugs as I go through the stage of being a mom -

just as the life inside me wants to be nourished and taken cared of.

I want someone to hold my hands while I go through this journey and give me some hugs when I get scared.

Ulan

rainy days are here again rainy days remind me of the times that i am alone, single, hopeless romantic and inspired by the things around me. I always watched the rain pour heavily as I ponder on things that I'd like to think about: - what would I be like when I am 24? - Will there be someone who will truly ask me to marry him? - how soon can I get to enjoy the company of someone who will be there for me? - how hot would the soup be? - how soon will the rain stop? A lot of the people I know really don't like the rain at all. It may be for a lot of different reasons but the sure thing about it is that it somehow causes sadness to other people.  It reminds them about break ups, heart aches and losses.  It causes them to fret and worry about what's going to happen or what had happened. Lucky me, the rain was with me all the while.  And happy days were there when I was with the rain. It made me take a different perspective about it...

Panunumpa

It's the nth day after D day and there had been a quiet aftermath. We are now going back to Manila... I know everything won't be the same as it was but I am hoping for a better future... One that I won't have to worry about things around us. It may be a difficult challenge for me - since the day I came back in the Philippines and learning about things that went wrong while I was away. I am just hoping things are going to change like he told me - starting anew...  There are a lot of challenges for me out there. I hope I can fight it. I hope I can forget it... Everyday is going to be a new discovery like what was said on our wedding day. I am up to the challenge on discovering new things with my hubby. I know we'll both go through those challenges.  One thing I can promise him is that he won't go through those challenges alone. I will be with him as I have promised on our 4th anniversary. "i promise to love and care for you..." Koi, if there comes a time that you read this, please know that I will always be there for you and that I won't leave you. Take care and remember that I will always love you. Stay happy. I am always happy when I am with you. I may not be able to tell you about it but I am.  Your companionship has brought a lot of things in my life that I could learn from - be it from the good or the bad. Things may be different as it seems.  I just hope you understand... I will be there for you.

Reason, Season or Lifetime?

This was shared by one of my office friends.  I find this worth reading. :)

~~~~~


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Challenge Accepted!

It has been a year since I thought of doing this:  100 day Photo Challenge.  This photo challenge is for the social networking sites so I am to start my own list.

Here is the list to start with:

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of your night.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.
Day 31 - A picture of a tradition you have.
Day 32 - A picture of a crazy night.
Day 33 - A picture of the house you grew up in.
Day 34 - A picture of your currently most played CD.
Day 35 - A picture of your favorite place to eat.
Day 36 - A picture of your 'other half'.
Day 37 - A picture of the people you spend most of your time with.
Day 38 - A picture of the best part of your day.
Day 39 - A picture of your favorite movie.
Day 40 - A picture of your favorite Disney character.
Day 41 - A picture of your pet.
Day 42 - A picture of your dream house.
Day 43 - A picture of something you can't function without.
Day 44 - A picture of someone you're told you look like.
Day 45 - A picture of your room.
Day 46 - A picture of where you wish you were right now.
Day 47 - A picture of your favorite place to shop.
Day 48 - A picture of your favorite actress/actor.
Day 49 - A picture of where you live.
Day 50 - A picture of your most frequented place.
Day 51 - A picture of your dream car.
Day 52 - A picture of your favorite sport.
Day 53 - A picture of someone you think is hot.
Day 54 - A picture of the one thing you would bring if you were stranded on a deserted island.
Day 55 - A picture of the last movie you saw in theaters.
Day 56 - A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 57 - A picture of your favorite holiday.
Day 58 - A picture of your favorite animal.
Day 59 - A picture of a random item that you own.
Day 60 - The final picture of yourself.
Day 61 - School class picture
Day 62 - Last place you traveled to
Day 63 - Sports awards
Day 64 - Favorite childhood book
Day 65 - A picture of you and your bestfriend
Day 66 - A picture in your roomay
Day 67 - Something Green
Day 68 - A magazine you like
Day 69 - Something Red
Day 70 - Something you borrowed from someone else
Day 71 - A picture of your favorite piece of jewelry Day
Day 72 - A stuffed animal
Day 73 - Your lunch
Day 74 - Something you found under your bed
Day 75 - You and a friend
Day 76 - Something that annoys you
Day 77 - The last thing that you bought
Day 78 - Your sunglasses
Day 79 - A ticket from somewhere you've been
Day 80 - Your favorite childhood movie
Day 81 - Something you baked
Day 82 - The most embarrssing thing in your closet
Day 83 - The moon tonite
Day 84 - Your favorite pair of shorts
Day 85 - Something Pink
Day 86 - Something your mom bought you
Day 87 - Something you hold dear to your heart
Day 88 - Your bathroom
Day 89 - What's in your fridge?
Day 90 - Your current school photo
Day 91 - Something that made you smile today
Day 92 - Something weird in your house
Day 93 - The view from your bedroom window
Day 94 - What your doing right now
Day 95 - Something yellow
Day 96 - A place you went today
Day 97 - Something heart shaped
Day 98 - Your favorite nail polish color
Day 99 - Something that makes you feel accomplished
Day 100 - The final picture of yourself

So... The best of luck to me!

When should I start?

Let me start on Friday the 13th... April 13, 2012. :)


COOL!  ME GUSTA!

Memories of Zurich

You asked her one time that if your memory was gone just like in the movies, would she help you regain your memory back?

~~~~~~~
It was 10:00 PM and she was in the shower.  She had fond memories of you when both of you were still new in friendship and in love.  She was singing her favorite song that she sang when you were both together - happy and free and untamed.  She thought that one day if something happened to her, she wanted you to know how much she loves you - for who you are and that she misses your loving embrace like the first time you hugged each other on Spring.

She slipped and hit the wall of the bathroom floor, felt dizzy and lost sight for four seconds and when she opened her eyes, everything was hazy. As soon as she got up she told her self her name, her age and the name of her loved one. It was you.  She got up and grabbed the towel.  The first thing she did was to grab her phone.  She made a message telling her name and she loves you. She wrote her message that no matter what happens, you will always be the guy she loves.

She took the liberty of telling her roommate what happened and that she is feeling dizzy so she wanted to sleep the night and then go to the doctor the next day.

She waited for you patiently for any message, but to no avail she chose to rest not knowing that that day may be the last day of her life.

All she remembered were your goodness and your happy times together.  The way you wrestled with each other and the way she laughed at your jokes.

She knew very well how you looked at her while she was sleeping at the long flight going to Europe and how she made messages in sticky notes.
You were the only person whom she considered to be her friend during that journey.  She was fond of taking pictures of the things she did and she wanted you to be very comfortable because it was your first time to fly.

You called her a thief when she forgot to pay for the carrots she got in one of the large supermarkets and she hated you for calling her a thief so she pinched you and thought that it was totally worth it.

You both wandered on a winter night looking for a restaurant on a Valentine's Day and she believed that you knew the directions while she was hurt walking around using three inches of heeled boots.

You both loitered around the city and walked through endless streets and foot paths and she got comfortable being with you as her closest friend while both of you were away from home.

She couldn't forget the time you told her about your eyeing one girl in your team and even took a video of how crazy (or not) you were and she would always pull your leg about it.  You both exchange messages through emails and office chat in mindalign and talking about life and stuff... She honestly appreciates the friendship you both had.

She would confide in you and in return she would tease you for not getting back at your girlfriend you left back home.  She loves the idea of you getting pissed off while she laughs at the love-hate-relationship or situation.

You both started to like her when you realized that you're happy being with her. You took everything out from your chest and let her know about things you wanted her to know. She did not quite know what to do at first but she threw herself at it, risking everything she had.

She loved you and you felt it... and it went on for months and more days until she went back home.  You missed her a lot and you're torn between being left for work and being there for her back home.  It was a complete struggle for you to try to stay focused and happy while distance challenged you both in your relationship as new couples.


You called her desperately for hours and she doesn't pick up the phone. You wanted to wake her up to make sure she was okay and that she's still alive.  For how many messages that were left and phone calls left unanswered, you grew mad for not picking up. You grew mad for what may have happened to her...

She dreamt that something was ringing in her head and she wanted to pick up.  It was the sound of the song she used to hear when you both were still friends.
"No one no one no one can get in the way of what I feel for you..."
and suddenly she picks up and said "Koi..." and all the rage you got were out in no time.
That was the day you have not said "I love you" to her but just told her about you being annoyed and worried that she should have not slept the night.  She said "Sorry, Koi, I didn't know." and began to cry.

She slept 12 hours 10 minutes after the accident.  She had herself treated for the mass behind her skull and for the dizziness that went on for 3 days and for the blurry vision.  After the CT scan, there were no serious findings except for the mass due to the impact.

What if you were the one who awoke her from leaving this life?  Would you have been thankful for bringing her back?  If you were the one who delayed the process of putting her to coma or erasing her memories of you and her past, would you have been grateful?  If this second life she has was something she could attribute to you, would you have been honest to say that you wanted to make sure she won't leave you again?

~~~~~~~~~~~~


Would she help you regain your memory back?  If you choose her to help you get everything back, THEN she would.

In the event that you choose not to go back to the past but live everything in the present, would you pick her to start new memories together?  Things may have been different since you both started, but she will somehow watch you make new memories with or without her around...  That would be how much she loves you since she decided to commit herself to you.  She will always be there to watch over you - even from a distance.

Thank you for bringing her back to life. (July 8, 2008)

Holding Hands

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.”

The little girl said, “No, Dad. You hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” Asked the puzzled father. “There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl.

“If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.”

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours…

This message is too short……but carries a lot of Feelings.

Repost from: http://thequotes.net/2011/12/holding-hands/

What's there to look forward to beyond what I see and feel?

“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”

Looking back in the past years here are some major milestones I had:
- I got my first job in the IT industry after graduation
- I bought my first IBM laptop and Apple Macbook Pro notebook
- I bought my first Gameboy SP and PSP 2000
- I had my first resignation from my first job, had my second and third job!
- My boyfriend and I were buddies before we got together as couples
- I had 2 breeds of dogs: Sharpei and Basset Hound
- I learned how to swim and overcame the fear of drowning
- I had 3 major climbs: Mt. Balingkilat, Mt. Lucban de Banahaw and Mt. Pulag (Akiki-Ambangeg)
- I traveled to these places: US, India, UK, Switzerland, Singapore
- I am free from the major heart ache in college (my closest friends know this) = Turning point in my life
- Someone proposed for marriage and I said "yes"
- I won Badminton tournaments with my baddy partners
- I took one major TRUST fall...


2012. This they say is a very lucky year and I wonder what's in store for me this year...

I long for a new life...
I long for a new start...
No more hurts or pains...

I long to live my dreams with that someone whom I can share it with - Someone to support me and to push me when I dare to back out; Someone who believes in me with all his heart... and someone who'll entrust his heart to me.

I hope that "someone" feels me and can heal my soul...
I hope, too, that I can feel myself and help heal my soul.

Now, where am I?
...Probably about to begin the best (of the last) of my days.

Writing Letters

PS: I Love You

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone?

~~~

I started writing letters when I was 10 years old.  I wrote a friendly note to a guy named Patricio Bautista Jr. in Nueva Ecija, Philippines.  That was the first and last letter that he received from me.  After 16 years, my family came back to Nueva Ecija for a visit and I saw the guy.  I was told that he knew I was going to come back in the vicinity.  So he searched for me.  Unfortunately, he was not able to recognize me anymore.  He called my sister by my name and he was always smiling at her. So I thought, he may still have not forgotten me - or at least my name. I only saw him twice in my life... Yet probably it was the impact of the letter.

What was in the letter?
As far as I could remember, I thanked him for keeping me company for the 3 day vacation in Nueva Ecija. I told him he was nice and he should stay that way until he grows old.

~~~

I had the habit of writing friendly letters to friends and love letters to my mother and father (that made them cry) and love letters (to lovers - in the past) and to my current lover.

It's my way of expressing my feelings to the other person in written form.  Reading is like talking as they say.  You can just imagine that person who wrote the letter speaking right in front of you.

It's funny that in the internet, they give you tips on writing love letters such as:
- putting a picture of your significant other in front of you to help inspire you write a letter
- romantic tune to put you in the mood
- put a dab of cologne in your letter before sending it out
- wait a day before sending the letter in case you said something you may regret later, etc.

In reality, you may write your letter in any format as you wish as long as you are comfortable. The most important thing is that you're able to have your 'love' message sent across the person's heart.
It may be in a tissue paper, pad paper, a nice stationery, or a graphing paper or a scrap paper.


Before writing your letter, make sure you have an idea in mind of what you want to say and mean. Put loving words and appreciation.  Never put something that could hurt somebody reading your letter or hate you in return. Those may be the last words they get from you - or that may be the last time you ever write them a letter. Keep your words true to yourself.  Be honest and be comfortable in writing the letter. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person reading your letter... and 'feel' how they may feel after reading the letter.


Sending a snail mail or a personal letter written on paper, I think, is more romantic than typing it in an Email, in Facebook or whichever form.  You can feel the presence of the person sending you their message and they can make you feel even more special.

Keeping the messages true and honest can give impact to someone's life. I guess this is also what moves lovers from different parts of the world - loving in such far away distances - to more intimate and personal relationship. Who would have known that lovers thousand miles apart (esp for Filipino OCWs working abroad and getting in touch with their wife and families) could still be reunited by love letters? It may be because of the power of loving words and assurance to their loved ones that they'd come back home and the other person at the side of the world would yearn for that day that they'd be together again.

I may have written harsh letters, too... Sadly, but I wanted to say sorry for those things that hurt my love the most.  It was the only 'hate' letter I have written and it is worth burning... :-( Or should I say, too, that I am?
For my angel, I am sorry I have written bad things to you in the most recent past. I hope you forgive me if you ever get the chance to read this.  I love you and you know that.

Never my love...

You ask me if there'll come a time
When I grow tired of you
Never my love...

You wonder if this heart of mine
Will lose its desire for you
Never my love...

It's been months and the last time I saw the real you was this January.  We were so happy then...  I had decided to throw my worn armor - I knew after sometime it would break and it may lead me to another fall - the same fall I had way back in 2006.  The pain was there and the only thing that I remembered was I had to do things real hard and be patient to help me recover.  I had to choose something that could replace you (even if it meant that I had to overcome my greatest fear of drowning) but I guess I still wanted to go back to you and I did...  I had to keep up with other people who wanted to be with you, too.  I know you have a special place for me in there that nobody can occupy.  I know you'll always keep me there - safe.

Now if you ask me if I would ever go back to the time where we first met, I would say 'Yes' (...now where was that again?  I have to search for it somewhere in the map) I know you would gladly accept me back as I am.  I would just have to wear my happy red shoes.

Thank you for the memories.

Would you stay for someone that long?

I read old emails from my email account. I found this one. I think this is worth sharing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This is a true story that happened in Japan.

In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tear open the wall.

Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years!?!! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind boggling.

Then he wondered, how this lizard survived for 10 years without moving a single step - Since its feet was nailed!

So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what has it been doing and what has it been eating? Later, don't know from where appears another lizard, with food in its mouth...

AHHH! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...*sob*

Such a love, such a beautiful love!! Such love happened even on this tiny creature... What can love do? It can do wonders!! Love can do miracles!!

Imagine it has been doing it for a tiredsome 10 yrs, without giving up hope on its partner.
Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with the brilliant mind can't.

I am touched when I heard this story. And started wondering the relationship between them: family, friends, lovers, brothers, sisters......

As the technology advances, our access to information become faster and faster. But the distance between human beings, was it getting closer as well?


NEVER ABANDON YOUR LOVED ONES.

~~~~~~~~~

In life we may be crippled by some situations where we may tend to break when we are stretched to our limits. Some may leave and some may stay in the relationship.

Loving someone ang staying in love may be difficult. But as long as you hang in there - there's hope that you'll reap the benefits in the long run.

Believe in the best of what your partner can do. Be with them in times when they need you the most. :) Be thankful that they had been given to you as a gift to be taken cared of and to be cherished for life.

What if... You start living like today was your last?

A lot of us may have gone through the stage where we have asked ourselves these questions:

"What if I fell in love with somebody else, would I have done better?"
"What if I was to start my life all over again, should I have done it the other way?"
"What if I was not good at this?"
"What if I was destined to be alone?"
"What if I did this and not that?"

"What if I died today, will I have to worry about my what ifs?"

We continue to struggle with these two words, "what if" especially when we doubt ourselves and think that there are things we could have done to prevent things from happening.

Having these doubts make us think of the negative effects on us instead of looking at the brighter side of things - of what we can do to make things right the second time.

Most often than not, we doubt, we fear and we get back into our comfort zone. But what if we convert that doubt, that fear and comfort into something bigger than what we can think of? Instead of thinking of doubts - you say "I BELIEVE" and instead of having that fear - you step in with the biggest COURAGE you ever had and instead of going back to your comfort zone, you take the jump off the cliff with the RISK?

What if those doubts, fears and comfort don't exist and all there is was BELIEF in yourself that you will be able to overcome all the challenges in your life?

I AM COURAGEOUS.
I BELIEVE IN MYSELF.
I AM A RISK TAKER.

Isn't it high time that you do something for yourself rather than worry about the unknown? There may be no guarantees, but the biggest step is for you to move forward and be better.

Think of the NOW... Don't worry about the past nor the future. Live in the NOW... Start living your life today as if it was your last. Is there anything sweeter than that?

One thing that I got from one of the life changing seminars was:

"If it scares you, you're probably doing the right thing."

So for that someone out there - I believe that you can overcome your what ifs. You are the smartest person I know right now who can think of the best solutions. I know you have gathered the strength and courage to be where you are right now. You may take a step back - but don't go back... Keep moving forward. You are bigger than yourself now. You have always moved me by your silent ways. You may have struggles right now but I know that in your heart, you have the biggest COURAGE there is to fight your fears, biggest BELIEF in yourself to fight your doubts, and you are the BEST RISK TAKER I know to overcome everything. Know that I am here to hold your hand when you need someone to take that jump! :)

You ARE the most successful person in the world...
Have faith...

Enjoy... Be happy but don't be stupid.

...
When the workin',
When the working day is done.
Oh,when the working day is done,
Oh,girls,
Girls just wanna have fu-un.
...

After a day of 'hard' work or a stressful day, I can always treat myself to the spa and get a massage.  But having fun with my girl friends is better than being alone on my 'me' time.  It's good having nice people around you to boost your energy level and if having fun means going out on date nights with them, then go.  

Just be responsible for yourself - taking the right amount of alcoholic beverages, smoking a few sticks (if you do smoke) or none at all, and dancing your move to the beat of the music.  You may meet some new people, women and men.  Some men may get your number and text you for any meet up at anytime after the night out.  If you're single and not committed, you may take a chance for it for a new relationship but if you're not into having those type of relationships - flings and temporary meaningless relationships - better wait or look for that someone who will keep you... or better yet, be the right person for someone whom you'll meet in the future. Enjoy the fun...be happy but don't be stupid especially when someone home is waiting for you...

Love the one you're with.  Don't be stupid...